The Banff and Buchan Collection

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Tape 1994.012 transcription

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01
But fit'll I dae wi the herrin's back?
I'll mak it a laddie and christen it Jack,
Herrin's back, laddie ca'd Jack,
Herrin's fins, needles and pins,
Herrin's eyes, puddins and pies,
Herrin's heid, loaves o breid,
And a' sorts a things.

For a' the fish that swim in the sea,
The herrin it is the fish for me,
Sing fallalalido, fallalido, fallalido, liday.

Oh fit'll I dae wi the herrin's tail?
Fit'll I dae wi he herrin's tail?
I'll mak it a ship wi a beautiful sail,
Herrin's tail, ship wi a sail,
Herrin's belly, lassie ca'd Nelly,
Herrin's back, laddie ca'd Jack,
Herrin's fins, needles and pins,
Herrin's eyes, puddins and pies,
Herrin's heid, loaves o breid,
And a' sorts a things.

For a' the fish that swim in the sea,
The herrin it is the fish for me,
Sing fallalalido, fallalido, fallalido, liday.

That's that! [Applause]

02
[MR] Where's me ??. You're on next, so I just thought I'd you know in advance. Em, one of the highlights of any evening down at the Vale is the appearance of Stramash up here, giving us what can only be described as a unique performance. However, one third of them are not here tonight, but they are gamely going to go on despite that, and show us what they can do without one of their number, so a big hand please for Stramash! [Applause].

03
[MP] When he speaks about unique performances, it's probably what we're going to do is akin to the sailing of the Titanic. [laughs].

[GA] It's going to be unique but don't hold your breath!

[MP] At the beginning of December, we played down at the Towie Tavern and when we were there I donated a couple of pieces of art which we raffled off, and I want to thank all those who came along and bought, and eh, were involved in the raffle. We raised £55.50 which wasn't too bad for a small space like the Towie. Em, and em, Edith Donald has come down tonight. She represents the Marie Curie Cancer Research Fund who we decided to donate the money to, and I'd like to ask her to come up now and present her with a cheque and then we can get on with some music. Would you like to come up Edith? [Applause]. There you are, there's the money.

[Edith] Fine, thank you very much indeed. And I would like to thank everybody that bought raffles to be able to donate this money for the Marie Curie nurses. I don't know if any of you know what the Marie Curie nurses do, but if anybody has a close friend or relative at home dying with cancer, you can nurse them there yourselves at home. And the Marie Curie nurses come along at night and they help to look after the patient with you, and therefore allow you to go to bed for a wee while. And without these Marie Curie nurses I don't think it would be possible for any of us to nurse such an illness at home. And I would like to thank you all for donating this money, especially the Fyvie Folk Club. Thank you very much indeed, and I am sorry I can't stay with you here tonight, because I've another engagement to go to as well tonight. Thank you all very much indeed and I will pass this along to Edinburgh, the head of the Marie Curie Department. [Applause]

[MP] We're going to string together a couple of instrumentals for you (very faint). Although, we won't be able to what, it won't be too surprising if I forget where I am somewhere along the way [laughs].

[GA] It's that kinda night I think.

[MP] ?'s got his head down for some work. We think he's just falling asleep.

[GA] Let's put it this way, we'll never for this.

04
[Plays, whistle and drum.]

[Applause]

05
[GA] Over the course of the last couple of weeks, we've been doing a lot of Burns Suppers. The stick didn't slip during the Burns Suppers, but nevermind. And heard this lovely story about a local farmer, in fact it was a friend of mine out at Carnoustie. Bought himself an Aberdeen Angus, and it wouldn't perform. So he got the vet in, and the vet said 'Give it one of these pills, six o'clock in the morning, turn it loose wi the dairy herd. No problem.' He says, 'One of these pills, that will never work.' Vet says 'I'm telling ye, one of these pills, that will do the trick'. So he's, nothing ventured, nothing gained. So the following morning he blew this pill doon the bull's throat, off it went. Right round the herd, did the lot And his friend come in, his neighbour. And he says, is that yon Aberdeen Angus that wasn't performin? He says, aye. He says, nothing wrong with it noo. What happened? He says, I called the vet in, he says, give me these wee pills. He says, one o these pills and that bull's done that. He says, God almighty, he says, it's going well. He says, what do you call them? He says, I don't know, but they taste awfie like peppermint. [laughs]. Every one a winner!

06
[MP] We're going to do another wee tune now. Totally unrehearsed by the way.

You can stamp your feet and clap your hands. I don't feel so lonely if you would [laughs].

[Plays whistle and drum.]

[Applause]

07
[GA] Now, I need the words for this one. It's got an easy chorus. The chorus is :

Aaaharaar. Dead easy. And it comes at the end of every second line. So you canna go wrong with this one, but I do need a wee bit of a prompt with this one. It was written by Matt McGinn, must have been oh late sixties I think. And eh, it's called Willie McNamara. Now if I can get the key right, I might be able to sing it.

08
There wis this fella fae the Gallowgate,
His name it wis Willie McNamaaraa,
And the wey he earned his livin wis,
Tae gain short weight fae a baaraa.

Noo this wee fly man fae Charlotte Street,
His lostra place o a gaaaraa,
He comes up the middle o the street,
And he says hiv ye got ateen or a tanner I could booorra.

Noo Willie said it would cause me grief,
It would even cause me saarraaa [all together],
For the wey I'm a very generous man,
I wouldnae gie ma granny a orange fae ma baarraa.

Noo the wee fly man got a haud o Willie,
And he's shakin him tae the maarraa,
And he's shakin his entrails oot,
He's thrown them on the top o the baaaraa.

Noo the polis are lookin for the wee fly man,
Through streets baith broad and naaarraa,
Fae Glaesgae cross tae Springfield Road,
Tae Parkheid and even Baaarraaa.

Noo the polis hiv got this wee fly man,
And they've pit him in the black Marriiiiaaa.
And he'll be up before Langmuir,
For causin a o this boooraa.

Noo this is the end o the sad, sad tale,
The sad, sad tale o soorraa,
Well I'll go on writin this rare wee songs,
And I'll mebbe hae anither one written for yous tomoorrraa.

[Applause]

Who's next?

[GA] I've got a story in reserve.

[MP] Right we're pleased to have with us, possibly the only professional that's going to be here tonight [laughs]. It's Banff and Buchan's own traditional musician?

[TM] Music resident.

[MP] Traditional music resident. Tom McKean [Applause].

09
[TM] Well, first a song from a little west of here.

Peggy on the banks o Spey,
She is aye sae blithe and cheerio,
And the country chiel she likes sae weel,
They rowe her in his plaidie-o.

He's pitten me fae jumpin dykes,
Fae dancin and fae singin-o,
And he's gaen me lacers tae ma steys,
They are o the newest fashion-o.

Oh the plooman lads are gey weel lads,
They're false and deceivin-o,
They pawn their kist and then they list,
And they leave their lassies grievin-o.

Oh if I hid back fit I ainst had,
But that's fit I will never-o,
I would tak good care and be aware,
O the young man in the gloamin-o.

Oh plooman lads are rovin lads,
And ye aye ken fit they're seekin-o,
They pawn their kist and then they list,
And they leave their lassies greetin-o.

[Applause]

10
Well in the spirit of the night, that was two different versions jined together. So I'll try a song I tried last night at Longside and it worked at Longside, but we'll see if it works here.

The nicht wis fine, twas aifter nine,
The meen be cloods wis hidden-o,
When in the dark ower moss an park,
Come Jock at Katie's biddin-o.

At saiven Jock hid suppit his brose,
And changed his claes weel cheery-o,
Pulled ower his queets, his Sunday's beets,
And he's aff tae meet his dearie-o.

The road wis lang, but Jock aye sang,
O Katy is ma chairmer-o,
Next Whitsuntide, she'll be ma bride,
And leave the hungry fairmer-o.

She's me tae thank, cause in the bank,
A hunnerd poond are lyin-o,
Nae, nae sae daft, I've taen a craft,
Oor fortunes we'll be tryin-o.

But comin throw auld Meldrum toon,
Aroon by the inn come Tammy-o,
Sae Tam and Jock at acht o clock,
Sit doon tae hae a drammy-o.

O sic a time the plooman had,
Wi ale and fusky cheerie-o,
They drank a lot and Jock forgot,
That he'd tae meet his dearie-o.

They sat and newsed and aye they boozed,
Till shakin time it chappit-o,
And in a haze, puir Jock arase,
And very nearly drappit-o.

Sine aff he whistled ower the rigs,
For weel he kent the stable-o,
Far of tae meet his Katie-o,
As seen as she wis able-o.

Jock feelin queer, the fairm drew near,
Syne in the close he landed-o,
Nae mean did glint, his wey he hae tint,
In a midden he got stranded-o.

But he cracket spunks and he fun his wa,
Roon by the byre gable-o,
Wi sharny feets and dubby queets,
At last he reached the stable-o.

Jock stade and thocht, the whisky vrocht,
The drink could fairly maister-o,
A workin steer wis staundin near,
So roon the neck Jock clasped him-o.

Noo Kate ma dear, ye'll vow richt here,
That none wid ye o marry-o,
But lord ma doo, ye've turned tae coo,
For ye're affa roch and hairy-o.

Syne in come Katy o wi a licht,
She lauched as she wis greetin-o,
She thocht her lad hid fair gone mad,
They ne'er hid sic a meetin-o.

The workin steer, he lookit sae queer,
But he niver gade a guller-o,
Nae doot he thocht he'd niver vrocht,
Wi sic an unco coller-o.

Kate glowered at Jock, Jock glowered at Kate,
The stott wis fair dumbfoonert-o,
Jock slackit his haud, and wi a thud,
He in the foresta foonert-o.

But syne the sport wis broken short,
By Katie's kind compassion-o,
She niver thocht tae see her stott,
Dressed up in sic a fashion-o.

Now what?

Kate passed her airm aroon Jock's neck,
Tae the kitchie she did guide him-o,
She vowed him she strong tae wid gae,
And niver eence would chide him-o.

But noo their mairried baith man and wife,
And lang may they be able-o,
Tae lauch at fate and ne'er forget,
That courtin in the stable-o.

Thank you

[Applause]

11
Well I'll finish off with a bit of mouth music, get eh, start jumping around a little bit, from the Western Isles.

[Mouth music]

[Applause]

12
[MR] Its been one of those evenings where most of the people who've got up have managed to do something wrong. However here's a couple of lads who we can depend on to give a truly polished professional perfect performance.

[GA] Kiss of death on that one! [laughs]

[MR] Here's the man with the missing flute. It's Peter and Jim [Applause]

13
[PH] I've got to tell my wife yet. I've lost me flute. No, no. This is the first flute I bought, which I bought for a fiver off somebody. Shady man in a pub. He's still lookin for the money. And eh, only every other note works on this. [laughs].

[PH]…. A drunken affair. Ah dearie me. I remember what I'm going to be doing now. As I was saying at Longside yesterday, last month those o ye that remember, I made a New Year's resolution, which was to em, play a new tune every time I come here. And eh, what I didn't tell you that I was going to keep on playing it until I get the bloody thing right [laughs]. So. You've heard that before. You've got that on tape from last night, I'd miss that off.

[Plays Flute and bodhran.]

[Applause]

[JG] When we play again, can we swap sides, cause I keep getting spat on.

[PH] Ah, right. Dribbled on, dribbled on.

[JG] Tryin tae duck as I'm playin

[PH] He's not dancin, he's trying to duck the spit as it comes out the end of the… [laughs]. Right I assume everybody has been doin some Elvis songs tonight. (Miaow).

15
You haven't heard this one mate. I've never heard singing in tongues before. He em. I do a song called 'The Woollen and Linen Song' which I'm going to live to regret. It's got a chorus. The chorus is:

Harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

When we introduced him last night, at Longside, he says eh, the man from Buchan Traditional Singer in Residence, and there's this old wifie at the back says 'he's American'. Aye could be worse, at least he's not English [Applause]. What was I doin again? Oh aye, the whirlin linen song. I'll sing the chorus for ye.

I'll harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

Have ye got that? Feel free to join in.

Harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

Tis I who woollen and linen,
The finest folks wear on their back,
So it's gals come to bobbins and spinnin,
And wind up yer wool and yer flak.

Harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

?? in ma pocket, so safe I've tae sneak out me bed,
And it's so that I'll rest with a rock in the ??,
Aye with Wullie I'll wed.

Harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

Tis I who is woollen and linen,
The finest folks wear on their back,
So it's gals come to bobbins and spinnin,
And wind up yer wool and yer flak.

Harken the little besom for treasure,
That sing in the mountainy bloom,
Me shuttle goes buzzin wi pleasure,
To gather the gold for me loom.

[Applause]

16
[PH] No, no we'll not do that. After the number of Burns Nights we've been doing recently, I thought there was only one Burns Night. There's bloody hundreds o them. [laughs]. So, after the amount of alcohol we've consumed over the last week if you want to put that there [laughs]. She's disguising the fact that she hasn't the foggiest what we're playing.

[JG] We've noticed.

[PH] Aye, we'll do the jigs. The Jump at the Sun.

[JG] Oh!

[PH] Come on, dae something.

[TM] You did that one last night too by the way.

[laughs]

[PH] No we didn't. Yes we did.

[JG] Did you?

[PH] No we did, we did, I remember doing it now. Shit, I should do something else now. You've put me right off.

[Plays flute and drum.]

[Applause]

[MR] Thank you Peter and Jim, it's possible we will be hearing more from them later. It depends whether Peter can get his truss readjusted in time [laughs].

[PH] Sing in a lower key I think.

18
[MR] We're going to have the first break of the evening…. [break in tape] ...a big round of applause for Carole [Applause].

[CE] Well, I wis gan tae tell ye this story. I wisnae gan tae tell ye if Dawn wisnae here. But Dawn has appeared. So I'll tell ye this story. Em. It wis aboot Jimmie that wis a visitin his pal in the hospital. And he decided nae tae ging on the Friday night, because he thocht, well abody else'll be in a Friday night, so he wid ging on the Saiturday night. However fan he went on the Saiturday night there wis a great crowd o folk roon aboot the bed. So he stood up at the end and he wis watching a them a eatin the grapes fan the matron come along ye see. And a matron, if ye widnae cross. And the matron says, 'Now you know the rules of this hospital. There's only two at a bedside. Now you can either go out and wait, or you can go and visit some poor unfortunate patient who has got no visitors'. SO ye see, Jimmy--wis at his name? Aye. He, he wanders up the ward and stood up aside this Chinaman. He says, 'Aye, aye, fit like'. 'You foo nan chow!' said the Chinaman. He said 'Aye, it's affa weather we're haein isn't it?' 'You foo nan chow!' 'Aye, it's a job fan a yer folk hiv tae come a the wey fae China tae see ye isn't it'. 'You foo nan chow!' says the man, and he turns blue and purple and that wis the end o him ye see. So Jimmy he wis a bittie fear't o the matron, so he runs oot o the hospital and next door tae far the Chinese takeaway wis, ye see. And he says 'Hey min, fit dis 'You foo nan chow!' mean? And the Chinaman said 'it means yer staundin on ma oxygen pipe'. [laughs].

Now, somebody said this is the time o Burns Suppers. And there's been a lot a eh, fit daes, how does Ode to A Haggis go? Wee? No, it's nae wee. Fair fa yer honest sonsie face. Well this is a bittie like it, but this is oot o the paper--the Press and Journal 1969, Ode to a Runaway Haggis. And this wis the Buchan Association Burns Night. The Haggis wis duly carried up, and it fell aff the plate. [laughs]. And is, it wis in a Press and Journal and inspired a reader to write the ode titled above and printed below. So it's

'Ode to a Runaway Haggis'

Ye slippery, slithery hunk o maet,
Ye've gan and slippit affa ma plate,
Ye've made me look sae bloody blate in front o a',
Weel wid I like tae spread yer guts a ower that wa.

The piper there, a sturdy chiel,
Wis blowin loud and strong and weel,
Ye made him look a bloody feel, ye senseless ba,
Ye micht hae picked a better time for your doonfa.

Ye graceless, shapeless, loathsome lump,
Ye made me look a proper chump,
Into the bucket you I'll dump, I'll nae forgie,
I'll tamp on ye till the fleer rins wi yer bree.

I'll spread yer entrails far and wide,
There's nae a place for you tae hide,
Nae mair fae aff the plate you'll glide,
Ye naisty scunner,
A thing ye'll nae mak o me, is a nine days wonder.

[Applause]

Eh, as I say that wis oot o a newspaper clipping in 1969. My mum didna throw a lot o things awa, and when she died aboot three years ago, it really wis a job kennin fit to throw oot and fit tae keep and things like at.

20
But at wis one o the things that we kept. And this is anither thing, and it's ca'd

'Granny's Button Box' and it's by Joyce Averill

I maun sort oot this button box,
Noo gran his gone tae rest,
She'd nivver throw even een awa,
Fae coat or suit or dress,
But pit them a in this old box,
For, losh, ye nivver ken the day,
They'd come in handy for shoein on again.

Guid sakes, there maun be hunners here,
A colours, shape and size,
I'm sure they're better thrown awa,
Keepin them wouldnae be wise.

They dinna match wi onything,
That we fowk wear the day,
Na, na, the scaffie'll take them awa,
Nae matter fit ye say.

But wait a meenit, see this here!
This wis aff her wedding suit,
And this een here, I min fine,
Come aff ma buttoned boot.

My here's the hook she used to cleek,
Each button into place,
While I sat there, a wee bit lass,
A soor look on ma face.

Noo this lot here, a tied wi string,
Wis aff ma velvet coat,
I couldnae hae been mair much than five,
Gan doon tae meet Da's boat.

There wis a hat that gaed tae match,
Oh aye, I min that fine,
Jist fancy her hingin on tae them,
Aifter a this time.

See that bonny crystal een,
Fair glintin in the licht,
That wis a frock I wore till a waddin,
Fit a sicht!

A crepe de chine and frills and things,
And them a roon the neck,
Nae diamond ivver shone as bricht,
As I did in the kirk.

She shoe'd them on be gaslicht,
Each een pit on wi care,
Workin awa wi woven haunds,
Until her een were sair.

Noo this big black eens I ken fine,
Come aff Dad's fishin breeks,
For he wis a deep sea fisherman,
I didnae see for weeks.

This rubber eens are aff his woollen dra'ers,
She knitted a the while,
The yarns a wool that she used up,
?? stretched for mony a mile.

Here's een come aff ma first dance frock,
That wis gey lang syne,
And look at this een aff ma gymslip,
Fan I wis only nine.

An amber een aff ma tunic,
I wore fan in the war,
A jint tae dae ma little bit,
Tae bring the peace once more.

She grat the day I gaed awa,
And telt me tae tak care,
For I wis her only lassie,
And naebody loved me mair.

Here's bits and bobs fae ma ane bairns claes,
She shoe'd for them and a,
Knittin vests and socks tae keep them warm,
Fan the winter's winds did bla.

I can see there's mair than buttons here,
But memories she loved to keep,
She left them a to me noo,
She's gan tae her last sleep.

Fit! Throw them oot!
Na, na that's mair than I can dae,
I'll jist pit them in this button box,
That noo belangs tae me.

Ere I can see, that jist like Gran,
A hoarder I am tae,
Wi a box jist foo o memories,
I'll keep till the day I dee.

[Applause]

21
[SM] This is a ?? time. I've got a couple of announcements to make. Next Wednesday 8.00 pm here at the Vale Hotel is actually a meeting we are having to plan our next Festival. So hands up all those who were at last year's? Oh, well half a dizen folk turned up. Well this year we're no getting ony raid. Don't say that! So will you please come along, and you can help us sort out what we're going to do. You don't need to take a particularly--Morag's saying something really catty here--please come along. You won't have to sort, if I just say, bodies that are coming along to help. You'll no need to front anything, you'll no need to stand up and sing unless you really want to, but please come along and give us your support. The other thing is really good news, we've got Eric Bogle coming to Fyvie on 2 April! He's the guy who's originally from the Borders, but emigrated to Australia and he wrote that wonderful song, 'The Band Played Waltzing Matilda' and also the 'Squashed Moggie' one, that Mike sings. He's not going to sing it that time, no not that night. No. So, tickets will be really quite expensive, but he's kind of an expensive person to put on. He's £500. So we're going to ask (Each?). Aye, each. There's three o them. Anyway, tickets are going to be approximately a fiver. So if you save up between now and April, dinnae spend ony money on Easter Eggs, ye'll hae come tae see Eric Bogle. It should be a really good night. I'd like you to welcome a very good friend of mine [laughs] and also somebody (buys me drink). And also he's just sung here once before, I'd like you to welcome Walter MacDonald [Applause].

22
[WM] Going to do a couple of songs with a military type theme. First one's Twa Recruitin Sergeants.

Twa recruitin sergeants came frae the Black Watch,
Tae markets and fairs some recruits for to catch,
But a' that they listed was forty and twa,
Sae list my bonny laddie, and come awa.

And it's over the mountains and over the main,
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain,
Pit a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

Oh laddie you dinnae ken the dangers that you're in,
If your horses was to fleg or your owsen was to rin,
That greedy, old farmer he widnae pay your fee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

And it's over the mountains and over the main,
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain,
Pit a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

Wi yer tattie poorins and yer meal and kale,
Yer soor sa'in sowans and yer ill-brewed ale,
Yer buttermilk, yer whey, and yer breid ?? ra,
And list, my bonny laddie and come awa.

And it's over the mountains and over the main,
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain,
Pit a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

And its intae the barn and oot o the byre,
This auld fairmer he thinks ye'll never tire,
It's a slavery job of very low degree,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

And it's over the mountains and over the main,
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain,
Pit a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

Oh laddie, if you've got a sweetheart and bairn,
You'll easy be rid of that ill-spun yarn,
Twa rattles o the drum aye and that'll pay for a',
And list my bonny laddie and come awa.

And it's over the mountains and over the main,
Through Gibraltar tae France and Spain,
Pit a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee,
And list my bonny laddie and come awa wi me.

[Applause]

23
[WM] Next song is about a young man who was enticed to go over the mountains and over the main to France in 1916, and it wasn't quite what two recruitin sergeants said it would be. It was written by Eric Bogle who is appearing at Fyvie on the 6th. Eh.

Well how do you do Private William McBride,
Do you mind if I sit here, down by your graveside,
And I'll rest for a while in the warm summer sun,
I've been walking all day Lord, and I'm nearly done.

I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen,
When you joined the glorious fallen in nineteen sixteen,
Well I hope you died quick and I hope you died clean,
Or Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene.

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire ower ye, as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers o the Forest?

And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind,
In some faithful heart does your memory shine,
And though ye died back in nineteen sixteen,
Tae that loyal heart, are you always nineteen.

Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Or a picture enshrined behind some glass pane,
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown weather frame.

Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire ower ye, as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers o the Forest? [End of Tape.]

 

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