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01
After we've been here, we'll have local performers, and a
couple of ten minute breaks and then some fine loons and quines
from the Buchan Heritage Society will be here to entertain
you for the second half of the night. Anyway I want to thank
everybody for coming out, it's wonderful to see you, there's
nae many o you, but I'll bet you'll be a good audience. Tonight
our first guest is actually Elizabeth Stewart, who is from
Fetterangus and one of the famous Stewart's from Fetterangus,
her aunt Lucy and Jean. We also have fine chiel fae Tyrie,
as opposed to Tiree, Tyrie is outside Fraserburgh, Tiree is
the wee island on the West coast of Scotland. This is a fine
chiel called Gordon Easton who diddles, which isn't illegal
on a Sunday so they tell me in Shetland. He is plays the moothie
and is a fine fiddler as well as being an all round fine chiel.
And then we have young Tom McKean, who happens to be an American,
but we kind of forgive him because he's from the East coast
of American and I'm sure there's a bit of a Celtic blood diluted
in there somewhere. Tom is actually the resident musician
for Banff and Buchan District Council and has done a lot of
good work for us all. He actually has got a cassette for sale
tonight as well, if you enjoy listening to us, of some fine
Doric songs, Elizabeth has a cassette of herself and also
Gordon has a cassette of himself singing bothy Ballads. Right
Mr Easton, you'll keep me right. I called these lot the Buchaneers
last night, because they are all from Buchan, well two of
them are from Buchan. So I would like you to give a big warm
round of applause for the Buchaneers.
[Applause.]
02
[Tunes.]
03
Thank you very much. Now it's me to sing. The first one I'm
going to sing is a poem, well it's, it's commonly used as
a poem in the schools in Banff and Buchan and it's called
the 'Lum Hat wantin a Croon'. And the last verse, well the
end, the last, what am I looking for, the last two lines of
each verse the same 'the lum and the croon'
The burn was big wi spate
And there cam tumblein' doon
Topsalterie, the half o a gate
An auld fish-hake, and a great muckle skate
And a lum hat wantin' a croon
An auld wife stood on the bank,
And there gied swirlin' roon,
She taen a guid look, and syne says shes,
"There's food and there's firin' a gaen tae th' sea,
And a lum hat wantin' the croon!"
She grippit the branch ey a saugh,
And she kickit off ane of her sheen,
She stuck oot her fit, and it caught in the gate,
An' awa' she went wi' a great muckle skate,
An' a lum hat wantin' the croon!
She floated for monys a mile,
Past cottage and village and toon,
She'd an affae time astride o a gate,
But it seemed tae gang fine wi' a great muckle skate,
And the lum hat wantin' a croon!
A fisher was walkin' the deck,
By the licht of his pipe and the moon,
When he sees an auld body astride of a gate,
Come bobbin' along in the waves wi' a skate,
And a lum hat wantin' the croon!
"There's a man overboard!" cried he,
"Ye'll hear?" cried she, "I'll droon!
A man overboard? It's a wife on a gate!
It's auld Tibby Mackintosh here wi' a skate,
And a lum hat wantin' the croon!
Was she nippit tae death at the Pole?
Has Africa bakit her broon?
I canna relate, but whatever her fate,
I'll sure it was shared by a great muckle skate
And a lum hat wantin' the croon!
A moral there is tae ma tale
On greed ye should aye gie a froon!
Jist remember the wife that was lost for a gate,
An auld fish hake and a great muckle skate,
And a lum hat wantin' a croon!
[Applause.]
04
Now em, Millers seem to have a certain je ne sais quois in
the past. They seem to have been rather robust young men with
an inklin for a, and an eye for a fine young woman shall we
say. And this song is called the Miller of Drone. And it also
has a chorus sung after the 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th verses.
So you have to count, OK?
[The tape has too much echo here to transcribe
this song easily.]
[Applause.]
05
Just to keep up the pace, because we're supposed to be somewhere
at half past eight, I'm going to sing you a song called the
Knight and the Shepherd's Daughter. I haven't seen many knights
in Fyvie or Rothie, jist the ones that come after dark, but
this is about a knight in shining armour, so they tell me
and there's a twist to this story. Don't think it's got a
chorus this one. Now, there's two songs I sing that are very
similar, and if I start on the other one I'm snookered.
Tis of a shepherd's daughter keepin sheep on
yonder hill-o
And by the calmer King's high knight and he would have his
will
He's tethered by the middle sma and by the silken goon-o
And he has had his will before he rose her up again
Noo that ye've had yer will o me, come tell
tae me your name-o
For when my bairnie it is born I might cry him the same
It's some they ca me Jack, he said, and some they ca me John-o
But when I'm at the King's high coort, they ca me Wilful Wull
His mounted on his milk white steed and off
away did ride-o
But she's kilted her petticoats roon her knees and ran at
the horse's side
An when she cam tae the waterside, she bowed her head and
swam-o
An when she cam tae the ither side, she took tae her heels
and ran
An when she cam tae the King's high coort, she
terrilt at the pin-o
An wha wis there but the King himsel tae let the fair maid
in
Good morning to you fair maid, he cried, good morning sir
says she-o
Is there a knight untae this ha this day has robbed me
Oh has he robbed ye o yer goud, or robbed ye
o yer purse
No but he's robbed me o ma maidenheid, and that's a damn sight
worse
Well if he be a married man, a hang-ed he will be-o
And if he be a single man, his body I'll ge tae thee.
The King's cried oot his merry men, by one,
by two by three-o
An Wullie was once the foremost man, but last behind come
he
As he come crippled, and he come blind, come poor fell'd ower
a tree-o
But be he crippled or be he blind, the very same mannie wis
he
Oh had a I drunk the well water, when I had
drunk the wine-o
Tae hae a shepherd's daughter for to be a true lover o mine
But when they come intae the kirk the joke wis tae be seen-o
For she wis the Laird o Fyvie's lass and he wis a squire's
son
[Applause.]
06
I usually sing these songs quite fast, but they seem to have
gone faster tonight than they normally do. Anyway this next
young loon is all the way from Methlick, I've got it right
tonight. I've got this absolute sort of brainstorm between
Methlick and Mintlaw, and they're not in the least bit similar,
always muddle the names up. Now this young man called John
Pratt is a farmer, Cairnorrie, from Methlick, is that right.
And Cairndoddie is actually used to be called the Mains of
Benagoak, and there's a good cornkister called the Hash of
Benagoak.
Anyway I'd like you to welcome John Pratt
07
This is nae a sang o love, na nor yet a song o money
Faith, it's nothin very peetifu, it's nothin very funny
But there's Hielan Scotch, and Lowland Scotch
And butterscotch and honey, there's neen o them for a'
There's mixture o the three.
An there's nae a word o beef brose, sowans,
sauty bannocks
Pancakes, pess eggs for them wi dainty stomachs
It's a aboot a meal-an-ale at happened at Balmanacks
At McGinty's meal an ale far the pig gaed on the spree.
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree
Well McGinty's pig hid broken lowse and wint
up tae the lobby
Where he'd opened shoved the pantry door and come upon the
toddy
An he took kindly tae the stuff like ony human body
At McGinty's meal an ale far the pig gid on the spree.
Miss McGinty she even bocht the hoose the wey
it wis dark and crookit
She gaed heelster-gowdie ower the pig, for it she nivver lookit
An she let oot a skirl that would a paralysed a teuchat
At McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree.
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gid on the spree.
Johnnie Murphy he rin efter her and ower the
pig was leapin
Fin he tramped on a nursit at wis sittin foo o drippin
An he fell doon and peelt his croon and couldnae hud fae greetin
At McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree.
Sae the pantry shelf came ricklin doon an he
wis lyin kirnin
Amon saft soap, peasemeal, cornfloor, and yernin
Like a gollach amin traikle but McGinty's wife wis girnin
But the soss had pit a pantry fleer and wouldnae let him be.
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gid on the spree.
Syne they a' came skirlin tae the door and foun
that it was tuggit
Aye an it held the faister aye the mair they ruggit
Til McGinty roared tae bring an exe, he widnae be humbuggit
Na, nor lockit in his ane hoose an that he let them see
So the wife came trailin wi an ex and through
barrels hacken aye
And opened through the door at eens as ticht as they were
packit
An a the crew came rummelin oot like tatties fae a packet
At McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree.
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gid on the spree.
Weel they hid spirtles, they hid tattie chappers,
faith they were nae jokin
And they swore they ???? the pig ??? for he wis nivver yokin
But by this time the lad wis foo and didnae care a docken
At McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree
Noo there's eely pigs and jeely pigs and pigs
for huddin butter
Aye, but this pig wis greetin fu and rowin in the gutter
Till McGinty an his foreman trailed him oot upon a shutter
At McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gaed on the spree
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gid on the spree.
Noo Miss McGinty took the thing tae hairt and
hid it in her closet
An rubbit Johnny Moffat's heid wi turpentine and rosit
Sin they harled him wi meal an ale, ye really would suppose
it
He'd sleepit in the messin straw and risen tae the spree
O it's weary o the barley bree and weary o the
wither
If it's ???? him in wi dubs an drink they gang a weel thegither
But there's little doot McGinty's pig is wishin for anither
O McGinty's meal-an-ales far the pig gaed on the spree
An they were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan
o tinkies
Aye an some were playin ping-pong and tiddly-widdly-winkies
They're up the hall and doon the hall ye nivver sa sic jinkies
As McGinty's meal-an-ale far the pig gid on the spree.
08
[Oh my Love's ????]
09
I am a merchant tae ma trade
And a ma days in Bucksburn bade
I sell maist athing so its said
In a wee bit shop in Bucksie o
For fear ye think I blow ma horn
An gang and leave ye a forlorn
I'll tell ye the nicht afore the morn
Some things I sell at Bucksie o
I've scarves and jumpers for the quines
Garden poles and fishin lines
Knitting preens and harra tines
And kens and brushes dandy o
I've parazone, yer claithes tae clean
Sausages and a face creams
Specs and goggles for yer een
And snippit ba's and candy o
I've tattie chappers, iron quicks
And Glesgae buttons for yer breeks
Dibbles, fine for plantin leeks
And cross cut sa's and fiddles o
I've ??? syrup, chak and cheese
And paper traps for catchin fleas
Caster ile and splittit peas
And Beechams pills and vittles o
I've malter floor and treckle dubs
A kind a ??? for warts and scabs
Flannel claith and drawers and wabs
And ???? tripe and gundy o
I've blackened ham and slaters nails
And patent stuff for killin snails
And sa't for pittin on their tails
And peppermints for Sunday o
I've stable lantrens, gingerbreid
And caips for ony size o heid
Sma ??? and brushes tae kill them died
Soft soap and styes and leggins o
Mooth organs made tae fit a moos
An timmer stilts for cairts and ploos
??? wi herrins, felt and screws
Go ???
[Forgets words for a few seconds.]
Since last I spoke aboot ma shop
I've gotten in anither stock
O odds and ends and other troch
to tempt the fowk in Bucksie o
The stuff come in afore the term
to suit the lads in toon or fairm
You ken there's nithin I've tae learn
Aboot things tae sell in Bucksie o
I've ilkey currants, coloured flags
And whips tae spur on lazy nags
Melodians, clay pipes, Gladstone bags
???? work and waistcoats o
I've gramaphones and three fit rules
Potted heid and jiners tools
And slates for bairns to use in schools
yalla haddies and glue pots o
I've black mans hats and white mans cuffs
I've raisin floor and pooder puffs
At Christmas time I sell plum duffs
Monkey nuts and mittens o
I've tubes o cream for face or heid
??? pent for noses growin reid
I'll fit yer bike wi a new three speed
and hire a cairt for flittins o
I've ??? iron, all kinds o reeds
Moose traps and ingens, strings o beads
Sugar pills and chanty reeds
??? cribs and cradles o
I've heather besoms, yows and stirks
and packs o cards for daein tricks
Margarine and shooder picks
and cinnamon and ladles o
I've mealy jimmies, strippit socks
??? and floor an ???? clocks
I've spunks and mustard, brass port locks
Long ale and ties and tackits o
I've butter brasso tea and tacks
And cunnels made o grease and wax
And sacks for putting on yer backs
Stonehaven pipes and jackets o
I've emery paper tae clean yer ????
Dictionaries tae clear yer minds
Sweeties pigs and ????
???? cloots and ???? o
I've wireless sets for listenin in
And salmon biled and sided in
The kind o toys at mak a din
Soup plates and tam o shanters o
But noo I've telt ye jist enough
to gie ye an inklin o ma stuff
they hinner langer wi the buff
For here comes Mrs Bucksie o
So if yer ever doon the wey
Be sure and stop and gie us a cry
I've sik a stock ye'll surely stop
And buy a few things in Bucksie-o
[Applause.]
10
This is better than Rosemary Conley's diet, this running up
and down here. Can I just advertise Fyvie Folk Club have got
some nice t-shirts for sale as well.
Right, there's a lot of fine things in Fyvie,
there's a castle which was selt tae the National Trust for
a pound, which is well worth a wander roon about. There's
an eighty year old pharmacist who will sell you lozenges that
will kill any bugs that ever go near your throat or your nose.
There's a fine post office, and I must say the midwife is
very fine as well, which is me!. But one of the finest things
in Fyvie is our next participant who is now a house-wife,
who sort of portrays the act of story-telling and poetry.
And I'd like you to welcome Carole Geddie.
11
There's a beautiful Tiffany window, and these, the windows
are nae very common, but Fyvie church has got a Tiffany window
and it really is well worth seeing. But the church developed
over a long time, several leaks in the roof and the leaks
got worse and worse and eventually the caretaker had to get
a set of pails to catch a the water, but they run oot o pails,
so they thought well we really hiv tae dae some fundraising
to sort the roof. So there wis sales of work, there wis car
boot sales, there wis athing that you could raise money, Fyvie
did it. And they eventually managed to fix the roof, and it
was a big day when they fixed the roof because they did, a
lot of folk put a lot of work into the fundraising. And the
Sunday after the roof had been fixed the minister was thanking
everyone in this prayer who had helped and contributed in
any sort of way. And there was one of the young boys from
the Sunday School in the front he said, 'Noo a that we've
got left is the dreep in the pulpit'
12
This is a poem from Ian Middleton. 'Better a grin nor a greet'.
Fen I first read this I thocht it was better a girn than a
greet, but it's better a grin nor a greet. A nod's as guid
as a wink.
Meggie wis single, but nae by design
For it wisnae that she wisnae a the mairrien kin
Nor wis it the shortage o men that wis hinderin
Na faith ye for mebbe she widnae die winderin
But the richt man wis lang kind in comin her wey
An as age creepit on so her hopes slippet by
Or so Meggie thocht until Mikey appeared
And in nae time at a Meg's hairt it was speart.
It wis ??? foreneen at a Cornhill mart
That Cupid decided and launched in the dart
So as Mary wis followin the bids on a stirkie
She happened tae notice a guid lookin berkie
He wis leanin oot ower the ring side railins,
And it seemed he'd nae interest in fit they were sellin
For he sneakit his ee in a lecherous wink
And the shock o it turned Megs very lugs turn pink
She regained her composure and gave him a look
Jist tae see if the wink wis a fluke
But he did it a second time, plain as ye please,
And Meggie felt sure she'd gie wey at the knees
She dithered a file aboot fit she should dae
She could either ignore him or turn and flee
But wi ??? bearin she launched an attack
And give him a muckle 'come thither' wink back
She nivver got muckle reaction fae Mike
He jist gied a smile as polite as ye like
Sine drappit his heid, and shuffled his feet
And lookit as shy as a six year aul ???
He seemed a bit puzzled, it was hard to explain
So tae mak matters clear Meggie winket again
But is spasm of chivalry seemed tae be deid
He jist liftet his bonnet and clawed at his heid
Fin the sale wis a bye, Meggie took him ootside
And saen let him ken how he'd dented her pride
Twas you winket first, twas you that's tae blame
So the least ye can dae is gie's a lift hame
Mike taen her in a wee cairt and in nae time at a
The twa like aul cronies were yappin awa
And eventually as the een got mair fond o the tother
The twa winkin lovebirds gied awey the gither
And when they got mairried and baith settled doon
And were blessed with two bairnies, a quine and a loon
They wis happy as larry and affa weel matched
And Meg aye rags Mike on the wey he wis catched
And Mike huds his tongue like a hen-peckit nail
But he kens there's a secret jist kept til himself
For the wink that he'd gaen and the wink that he'd got
Had in fact been a wink for a Hereford stot.
[Applause.]
13
Just excuse me for one mair moment. Right. Ye'll excuse me
just a minute.
Fower, seven, one, five, four, one. God it's
a kind o ??? is tv isn't it. Hello, hello, is that Buckingham
Palace? Who's speaking please. Is yer mummy in? Good. Can
she come tae the phone a mintie. Oh she's hooverin is she.
I windered whit at noise wis, I thocht she wis mebbe ha'in
a fly past. No, no, nae a fly, she'd a hid a fly a whilie
ago. It's nearly denner time. So, can you get her tae come
to the phone a mintie? Thankyou. Oh, he's a right weel spoken
loon at. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, is at you Your Majesty,
foo are ye? I wis jist gien ye a phonie tae see if ye can
open the ?? Show a week on Seturday. We hid Mary ?? last year,
and we hid Malcolm Green the year afore, and the Committee
wis affa keen tae keep up the standard, jist aboot. So you
were the unanimous choice. Fit's at noo. Oh I'm sorry, this
is Lois Smith, the Convener spikkin. I used tae be the banker
at Auchterturra, near Rhynie. No, nithin tae dae wi golf yer
majesty, the banker. At wis before I got the sek. Fit for?
O well, for keepin futrets in the nicht safe. O yes, but you
and I have met before. You mebbe winna min me, but I min you.
It was August 10th 1954, does that help ye? No? Ballater Station,
guard of honour. I was second on the left in the middle row,
in atween Colour Sergeant MacLeod and Sandy Webster. Ye dinna
min me? And ye dinna min Colour Sergeant MacLeod. O, but ye
div min Sandy Webster! O, Sandy's fine. Min he's fine bother
wi his lumbago ye ken, but nae bad. Yes, he's still the station
master at Camus o May. Fit's at? Weel naebody telt Sandy aboot
it bein closed doon! Well, fit aboot it quine? It's a wik
on Seturday, half past two. Noo, div ye hiv a diary. Hiv ye
got it handy? Hiv ye onythin on at day? O ye hiv. Fit hiv
ye on noo? O the state visit o the sheik o Abu Dhabi. Ach,
jist bring him wi ye. O he's a wife his he? Weel, bring her
an a. O twenty fower o them! Och well, jist bring the hale
jing bang lot and we'll pit them in the pageant. Oh, no no,
ye winna hae tae pey. Nivver, nivver, nivver ma dear. We'll
gie ye a complimentary ticket and half price for the bairns.
14
Right Elizabeth are you ready to come on? She's the Sandy
Shaw of ??? Her feet are freezin so if onybody has a pair
of Shetland knit socks, she'd appreciate them. A big hand
for Elizabeth.
[Applause.]
15
Ken is the worst o standin up here and singin withoot an accompaniment
is ????
I'd like tae start aff wi singin a little sang, it's called
the Gallant Forty-Twa. It's an aul sang and it goes right
back till before ?? times when the regiments werenae they
hidnae names, they were just numbers. A simple sang, ???
O it's six wiks come Sunday since ma laddie's
gaen awa
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
O broken hairted I've wandered o'er the sake ma true love
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
I'd only one sixpence and I broke it intae twa
An I gave my love the half o't afore he wint awa
O broken hairted I've wandered o'er the sake ma true love
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
I will sat at my windae and I'll spin at my
wheel
And I'll think aboot ma laddie and the times we hid sae weel
O broken hairted I've wandered o'er the sake ma true love
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
He's awa tae jine the regiment o the gallant forty-twa
[Applause.]
16
Doon yonder den there's a plooman lad
and some summer's day he'll be a my ane
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
I love his teeth and I love his skin
I love the very cairt he hurls in
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
Doon yonder den I could ha got a millert
but the smell o dust wis hae daen me ill
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
Doon yonder den I could ha got a merchant
But a his things werenae worth a groat
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
I see him comin fae yonder toon
Wi a his ribbons hingin roon and roon
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
And noo she's courtin her plooman lad
Is fair as ever he left the ploo
And sin laddie o and sin laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
And sin laddie o and say laddie aye
The plooman laddies are a' the go
[Applause.]
17
Well, we've come to our last act, this is a prompt for Gordon.
Gordon is a great diddler, that's nothing to do with antiques,
but he'll come up here and play a tune on the moothie and
then he'll diddle for ye. After he's gone I think the whole
audience comes up and performs together. Right Gordon are
ye ready? Good, good. Ladies and gentlemen I'd like ye tae
welcome Gordon Easton.
18
OK, is that some use now? You hear fine?
Is is the Dyin Ploughboy, there's twa tunes
till it, so this is een.
Plays moothie.
19
[Diddling.]
20
Right, the time has come for us to go, but you are going to
be entertained by your own. Here's Robert rushing to the rescue
once again. Thank you very much for those of you who have
turned up you've been a wonderful audience, but now we've
tae hitch on the bus and go to ?? We've thoroughly enjoyed
our stay on Shetland, it's wonderful. And we hope to see you
all on Wednesday night at the Shetland hotel in Lerwick. Please
come along and support us.
21
Please put your hands together and thank the folk from Fyvie
and their guests, that's really tremendous.
22
[Music on fiddle and guitar.]
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